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1.
03:06
Someone told me, the other day, they were turning over a brand new leaf. Wanted to scream, but I stopped myself. See the leaf for the forest for the trees. I told a stranger, the other day, I was gonna find me a brand new way. And I remember what he started to say, he looked me in the eyes and said ‘that’s ok.’ I saw some friends, the other day, they saw me acting different so they went on their way. We lead by example, and we hurt by choice. They never said goodbye, so I didn’t raise my voice. I saw your parents, the other day, they were asking about you in the typical way. They said they always wondered why we went our separate ways, then I asked if they knew, and they said you didn’t say. Don’t mistake your fate for your common sense. It takes a leap of faith for us to climb the fence. Don’t ever trade your pride for your confidence, just brush it off your shoulder, there’s no gain from your regrets. Marching onward to your siren’s song, never looking back until your time is done. You wash it all away without a single care, where surrounded by your island you can disappear.
2.
3.
04:18
Was I with you, or was I alone? I don’t remember why you won’t pick up your phone, so I sit and marinate in the feelings you reciprocate without knowing the topic of our critical debate. I know you told me a thousand times before, but I see nothing wrong with saying it once more. You know I’d sit here and listen all night, so I’ll never understand how this developed into a fight. We’ve been holed up in this room together, drinking all my money away. We’ve been sitting on this porch forever, slowly filling up this ashtray. Whiskey run, and then it’s party for one as you tell me to be on my way. Kiss me goodnight, and tell me goodbye, then I’ll never see your face again. No cause for regrets, after all it’s just sex, but I don’t want to take the money and run. No cause for alarm, cuz you don’t see the harm, and you’ll be sure to have your fun. You profess, I confess, you breathe a lie and then you call it the truth. You implore, I ignore; I find it’s better to face the facts. It’s cause and effect, you’re a crook and I’m next - I’m leaving this place for good! Every time I look at you, I wonder what the fuck to do. These greying lines have got me analyzing everything. I’m memorizing everything. I’m contemplating everything. But I can tell that you don’t feel the same way. I don’t see you hanging on every word I say. You probably want to tell me that we’re through, but I know you know that that isn’t true. We took a break, it was a mistake. It seems like every time. Sit and watch the tape rewind. We could make it together, baby, you can turn me down but don’t say maybe. We’ll build this thing together as a team. We could make it forever, baby, you can turn me down but don’t say maybe. We’ll build this thing together as a team.
4.
03:03
Setting on a course of self-destruction. Sailing on the wine-red seas of rage. Wondering what good comes of this; I can’t tell, who gives a shit? Telling me nothing ventured, nothing gained. Well, what’s left in your bag of tricks? I never thought you’d play the witch. I took you for more of a saint than a sinner. But I’ve been wrong, oh so many times, in my life. Learned my lessons fixing to mix with vixens. Told my mother I’d sooner bring home a ghost. Don’t bother treading water there in quicksand, she’d just leave you there tied to the post. Be careful when you children play with matches, it’s rude to leave a show before the host. But I’ve been wrong, oh so many times, in my life. Sorrows spoke in rivers, so we drowned them, burning bridges miles down the road. Smoking cigarettes til dawn, puking in the neighbor’s lawn, and locked out of my own house yet again. You’re on thin ice, my friend, always saying that you won’t get fooled again. But I’ve been wrong, oh so many times, in my life.
5.
04:09
Divergence. What you wanted, and what you got. Convergence. Two sparrows got one shot. I remember when you told me that our lives are inter-linked. I remember, when you left me, you took the kitchen sink. Now I’m older and I’m wiser, and I’ve got a tale to tell. I’ve been wandering all around the world, now I’ve got no soul to sell. You could take it, you could leave it, you could throw it in my face. You could shape it, you could fake it, but the truth you can’t erase. Seconds turn to hours, turn to weeks and into years, you’d find it if you’d look for it but you haven’t cared for years - you know it. I told you, don’t you ever compromise. You know that I am serious when you look into my eyes. DOn’t you ever underestimate me, this time I can forgive you, but my friend don’t fuck with me. Look out. She was sitting next to me, I don’t know how or why, but my total indifference gave way to being shy. I don’t know if I startled her, I didn’t know if I could try. To her, I could be anyone, but I’m not just another guy. I could be crazy, girl, but don’t ever be afraid. I’m here to reassure you that we aren’t all insane. I promise, we’re not crazy. I don’t know how to find what I want out of my life. Please tell me, somebody’s gotta know. I couldn’t tell you when I lost my self respect, but rest assured I’d let you know if I needed to collect myself. You didn’t know it when I turned and walked away, but the truth is that I know you and I still don’t want to stay. So, get off my back, I’m sorry if you didn’t want to play. I’ll pack my toys and hit the road to have fun another way. Find another way. God dammit, you’re right. I don’t have what it takes to win this fight. I’m encountering cataracts on my river of life.
6.

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released August 12, 2017

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Zachary Kyle Elmblad Kalamazoo, Michigan

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